'Just take the job': Unemployed husband turns down $90K job offer because he thinks the salary is humiliatingly low, despite having a mortgage and 2 kids in private school to support

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Mar 26, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

If you've been in the job market for more than 5 minutes, you know that you sometimes have to accept a worse job than you previously had. Maybe you got fired and had to take a position that paid $10K less than before. If you are laid off and want to provide for yourself no matter what, you might score a gig washing dishes or Doordashing before you can get back in your field. There shouldn't be any shame in taking a step back in your career, especially if you set yourself up to get back on track to where you want to be. After all, making less money than you used to is always better than making no money or relying on the government to pay your salary for a fickle amount of time. You can't drain your savings indefinitely when you're a qualified, working-age person with a family to support. 

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  • The husband in this story is unwilling to get his life back on track. He got a $90K job offer after being laid off from his old company for actions that were entirely his fault. Despite the promising offer, he found the salary insulting and rejected it outright.

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    Cheezburger Image 10485890816
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Husband is turning down $90,000 job offer

    Context: he was laid off from a systems development job as were many others. He had also been aggressively emailing the company CFO however, ranting about a social media policy he refused to sign. He sent over 7
    via u/Ok_Grapefruit_8799
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    emails, despite being told not to, managed to accuse the CFO of supporting moms for liberty... it was batshit. So I'm pretty sure he moved himself to the top of the corporate layoff line.
    via u/Ok_Grapefruit_8799
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    Cheezburger Image 10485901056
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    He hasn't been able to find anything, so he started with a staffing agency. He passed the interviews for an FPL systems engineer, and told me that he was going to start in early April and would need me to rearrange my schedule every Friday to pick up the kids from school. I am a
    via u/Ok_Grapefruit_8799
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    nurse practitioner and see patients in an office setting. Today I had my staff call everyone scheduled to see me on Friday afternoons, explain my schedule has changed, and reschedule them. I came home and he tells me he failed the drug test, which we knew he would, as he has medical marijuana.
    via u/Ok_Grapefruit_8799
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    He then ranted about a "policy that the results would be kept on file for seven years and it's so shady, what are they going to do with my DaTa?!" And said he's calling the agency tomorrow to demand they scrub his files and rescind the job offer. I pointed out that they can't do that, the 7 years is standard for all medical notes, and the service and notes have been provided and billed. I
    via u/Ok_Grapefruit_8799
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    told him to simply explain he has a license and see what happens. He screamed at me that "you want me to take any sh job out there just to humiliate me". Like what? 90k a year, despite no benefits (I'm paying for them out
    via u/Ok_Grapefruit_8799
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    of my job) is not a sh_job, we have a mortgage and two kids in private school, every job is going to drug test you and hold the records, just take the job. Am I missing something here? AITAH?
    via u/Ok_Grapefruit_8799
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    Cheezburger Image 10485902080
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Edit: answer to various questions. Good qualities: funny, very intelligent, very creative, can do well everything from making dovetailed fine furniture to car repair to coding to plumbing to playing several instruments and on and on. Kind to others (not me anymore unfortunately. But a steady friend to all others. Once
    via u/Ok_Grapefruit_8799
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    shoveled an old lady's driveway for a month for free. Didn't even know her, simply saw her struggling and decided he would do it. When we were newly in love carried my aged 60 lb dog up and down three flights of stairs for every potty break for months. I have many many good memories of my husband.)
    via u/Ok_Grapefruit_8799
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    moodyism Competition for jobs is likely going to increase. I wouldn't pass.
    via u/moodyism
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    anaisaknits NTA. He needs a psychiatrist at this point. He most definitely got himself at the top of the layoff list. He's sounds like a peach to interact with. At this point, no one is going to hire him. He's definitely the problem.
    via u/anaisaknits
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    Easy-Concentrate2636 I agree. He needs professional medical help from people not related to him.
    via u/Easy-Concentrate2636
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    Splunkzop He's having a breakdown, by the sounds of it.
    via u/Splunkzop
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    The_Infamousduck He definitely needs to talk to someone to get his head straight, but 90k for a licensed FPL systems engineer is WEAK; however they need the money, so take the job and keep looking
    via u/The_Infamousduck
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    TheDoctor1699 Easier to find a job while you have a job
    via u/TheDoctor1699
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    ChronicCondor How is 90k "humiliating" compared to unemployed? He's a delusional fella.
    via u/ChronicCondor
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    jrm1102 NTA - Your husband need to take accountability and stop victimizing himself.
    via u/jrm1102
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    caweyant I've been out of work for 8 mos. I would be thrilled with something that paid $90k + benefits right now. I was also laid off 13 years ago and after a year of looking found something for less than half my previous salary. I took it, stayed a year, found another position,
    via u/caweyant
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    and moved up. I'm hoping not to do that again, but sometimes you just have to sk it up and bite the bullet when it comes to supporting your family. I don't want to project on your husband, but it sounds like he needs to get his stuff together, swallow some pride, and think about his family. Edit: NTA
    via u/caweyant
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    unsilentmajorityusa Is it possible he's self-sabotaging his job search (failed drug tests, social media constraints) so he can't "get" work? You have a mortgage and two kids in private school... you take what pays. Did you see the failed drug test result or did you take his word?
    via u/unsilentmajorityusa
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    Overlord_1396 Taking a sh job isn't "humiliation." It's what I've had to do in the past. And honestly taking a sh job gave me absolute bliss. Peace and quiet. Working a sh job isn't the end of the world, and sometimes it can get you the small things.
    via u/Overlord_1396
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    I've also walked away from 80k jobs because they expected me to work 15 hour days and not be compensated for my overtime with money. Told them to shove it. I don't mind working sh jobs, even liked working corporate for a bit. But I don't work for free. That's a line that companies have crossed too often with me.
    via u/Overlord_1396

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job offer salary family drama jobs job kids work wife working private school husband family money unemployed offer reddit story Reddit
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